This chapter has always felt deeply personal to me. Chapter 8 is called Enlightened Relationships, and it asks some hard but beautiful questions about how we show up in love, in friendships, and even in conflict.
In the video above, I share a few big ideas that stood out to me and reflect on how they are shaping the way I think about connection and presence. If something here resonates, the video will take it further. You can also find a full video for every chapter of this book here:
Watch the full series on YouTube
Enlightened Relationships
Eckhart says most relationships are not really based on love. They are based on need. I need you to make me feel safe. I need you to make me feel complete. I need you to fix the parts of me I do not want to face.
The problem is, when both people are bringing their pain and unconsciousness into the relationship, they end up triggering each other over and over again. What we call love can quickly turn into control, blame, or resentment.
An enlightened relationship starts when at least one person begins to practice presence. When they stop demanding that the other person make them whole. This does not mean you stop loving them. It means you stop using them to try to fill a void in you.
Presence and Acceptance
Eckhart says to love is to recognize yourself in another. But most of us are not really present with the people we love. We bring our pain, our judgments, and our unconscious patterns into the relationship and then wonder why there is so much conflict.
This chapter reminds us that presence is the foundation of an enlightened relationship. It means we are fully here with the other person, not lost in our mind’s commentary about them.
Acceptance is part of that presence. Eckhart says, “The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance of your partner as he or she is, without needing to judge or change them in any way.” When we stop trying to fix or change the other person, we create room for real connection.
I started noticing how often I was listening to reply instead of listening to understand. How often I was quietly resisting who someone was in that moment. When I began practicing presence and acceptance, my relationships felt lighter. There was more space for love to flow.
Relationships as a Spiritual Practice
Eckhart points out that relationships are one of the best arenas for spiritual growth. They will bring up everything that is unresolved in us. Old pain. Old fears. Old patterns.
When we approach these moments with awareness, they stop being obstacles and start becoming teachers.
I have seen this in my own life. The times I wanted to pull away or fight back were often the moments when I was being invited to wake up. To pause. To feel what was really happening inside me. To return to the present moment instead of falling into old stories.
This is what makes relationships a spiritual practice. They keep drawing us back to the present moment, again and again.
Watch the Full Video
If any of these ideas speak to you, I hope you will watch the full Chapter 8 video above. In it, I share more stories about how these practices have reshaped the way I approach relationships and how they continue to teach me what real love looks like.
This is part of a full 10-part video series, with one video for each chapter of The Power of Now. If you are walking through this book or returning to it again, you are not alone. We are in this together. You can watch the whole series here: Watch the full series on YouTube
If something stood out to you in the reading or the video, I would love to hear about it. Leave a comment and share your favorite part or any ah-ha moments you noticed.
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